Sometimes we attend church and speak about God’s unconditional love, and not correlate that to romantic relationships. If you grew up not seeing what love and healthy relationships looked like, you may have had problems creating a successful relationship. 

God explains what marriages should look like and details what love looks like. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 states:  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

It is clear from this scripture that love is not something that one should take lightly. Love requires commitment, trust, meekness, selflessness, and perseverance.

Sometimes we get involved with others we like or care about and assume it is love when in fact we are driven by lust. Lust is our sexual attraction. A good-looking person can cause us to stay in relationships where love (according to 1 Corinthians) is not present and toxic behaviors run amok. Maybe you stay for tangible or selfish reasons but either way both of you are not reciprocating love. 

The next time you say you love someone or they mention that they love you, see if the love consistently coincides with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 version of love. This is how God shows his love to us. He is the best example we can possibly have for what pure love looks like. His love is the way we should love and how we should be loved.